are you confident?

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Jul 2018

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Yes, quite confident. It would take a really unusual experience for me to not be able to at least fake my way through it. There’s of course times where I don’t try to act confident cause I don’t think it’s necessary for everything.

My advice is finding a job where you have to speak with a lot of different people.

Edit: I’m confident in what I know and have experience or feel comfortable with. If it’s out of my scope then I most likely won’t be confident

removed-userAug 9, 2022 11:11 AM

Aug 9, 2022 10:10 AM

#5

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Jul 2022

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deg said:

give tips on how to be confident or if confidence does not matter much

Confidence doesn't exist, it's just a meaningless buzzword.
You are either worth something or you are worth nothing.

Confidence on a loser is always arrogance, confidence on a winner is just being self aware and realistic.

I'm heavy, I have a decent face, a big dick, socially awkward and inept but not afraid....never afraid.

That's my worth, I don't need confindence to know that. All I know is that I was born a low level warrior but I'm surrounded by weak villagers all the time, so I never feel inferior.

Actually I'm quite cocky, used to get beaten down for the same things I do now, but nowadays people are too afraid to engage me.... even if I'm alone against many, they are always too scared, I don't even need to say anything. I'm a clean freak but I smell like danger apparently.

Mod Edit: Merged double posts

NoLiferSoulSep 1, 2022 2:44 AM

chaotic devil fiend wannabe paladin

Aug 9, 2022 10:21 AM

#6

avolition

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Jan 2009

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Vergil_status said:

deg said:

give tips on how to be confident or if confidence does not matter much

Confidence doesn't exist, it's just a meaningless buzzword.
You are either worth something or you are worth nothing.

Confidence on a loser is always arrogance, confidence on a winner is just being self aware and realistic.

so nature vs nurture eh and you think its all just natural

Aug 9, 2022 10:25 AM

#7

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Jul 2022

114

deg said:

Vergil_status said:

Confidence doesn't exist, it's just a meaningless buzzword.
You are either worth something or you are worth nothing.

Confidence on a loser is always arrogance, confidence on a winner is just being self aware and realistic.

so nature vs nurture eh and you think its all just natural

what the hell has nature vs nurture anything to do with all I have said? I speak english I believe.

chaotic devil fiend wannabe paladin

Aug 9, 2022 10:27 AM

#8

avolition

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Vergil_status said:

deg said:

so nature vs nurture eh and you think its all just natural

what the hell has nature vs nurture anything to do with all I have said? I speak english I believe.

you implied you either have it or you dont so you think its natural while social science says its nurtured

Aug 9, 2022 10:36 AM

#9

rohan121

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Sep 2018

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Being confidant is not the same as being perceived as confidant. One requires looks while the other form only requires excessive pride. Such pride without looks is dangerous to act upon. A molester is a sub 5 with confidence. A Chad can bypass such a title deeming himself a playboy.

Aug 9, 2022 10:42 AM

#10

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Jul 2018

562316

Yuppers. Very. 自信家 if you will.~

Confidence is a lot like self-esteem. Confidence is the belief in your own abilities to do the things you want to do. That's all there is to it.

You get it by practicing doing the things you want to do. Every single time you do something, especially if that thing makes you want to crap your pants, your confidence goes up. No matter what it is. It doesn't have to be something "big" like starting a business or moving to a new place or bungee jumping. It can be something "small" like asking a lovely lady out on a date or learning to draw or going out to a party by yourself.

At the end of the day, I realize that when it comes to the choices I make, the worst thing that could happen is I die. A fella's still alive and kickin' though so no point in sweating anything too much. That's how I look at it, anyway

Aug 9, 2022 10:44 AM

#11

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no way is confidence greater than competence. an incompetent person may have all the confidence in the world, ppl will see through them after just a little while whereas competence will be recognised even if the person isnt the most outgoing or loud. n no this isnt me being idealistic its from personal experience in multiple situations. work hard, be competent, know ur shit, dont fake it

ot: eh im confident in familiar scenarios n shy in unfamiliar ones but i try not to hesitate much in doing new things

Aug 9, 2022 10:44 AM

#12

avolition

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rohan121 said:
Being confidant is not the same as being perceived as confidant. One requires looks while the other form only requires excessive pride. Such pride without looks is dangerous to act upon. A molester is a sub 5 with confidence. A Chad can bypass such a title deeming himself a playboy.

damn im starting to believe some of that black pill stuff youre on lol but then its the Halo Effect at work

Aug 9, 2022 11:02 AM

#13

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Jul 2022

114

deg said:

Vergil_status said:

what the hell has nature vs nurture anything to do with all I have said? I speak english I believe.

you implied you either have it or you dont so you think its natural while social science says its nurtured

No, I literally said confidence doesn't exist, it's a meaningless buzzword that woke people and women throw around.

If you feel like crap it's not because you lack confidence, it's because 100% chances you are crap.

chaotic devil fiend wannabe paladin

Aug 9, 2022 11:03 AM

#14

avolition

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Verthandi11 said:
no way is confidence greater than competence. an incompetent person may have all the confidence in the world, ppl will see through them after just a little while whereas competence will be recognised even if the person isnt the most outgoing or loud. n no this isnt me being idealistic its from personal experience in multiple situations. work hard, be competent, know ur shit, dont fake it

ot: eh im confident in familiar scenarios n shy in unfamiliar ones but i try not to hesitate much in doing new things

not my experience in the job market at least plus rule of thumb i notice is that given a confident and competent enough job seeker will always win against a highly competent but shy job seeker, overall confidence will get you recognize more and seen as a employee with initiative and a team player https://hbr.org/2019/03/to-seem-more-competent-be-more-confident

Vergil_status said:

deg said:

you implied you either have it or you dont so you think its natural while social science says its nurtured

No, I literally said confidence doesn't exist, it's a meaningless buzzword that woke people and women throw around.

If you feel like crap it's not because you lack confidence, it's because 100% chances you are crap.

ok although that is emotional reasoning aka what you feel is always true and its a cognitive distortion

Aug 9, 2022 11:04 AM

#15

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Jul 2022

114

deg said:

Verthandi11 said:
no way is confidence greater than competence. an incompetent person may have all the confidence in the world, ppl will see through them after just a little while whereas competence will be recognised even if the person isnt the most outgoing or loud. n no this isnt me being idealistic its from personal experience in multiple situations. work hard, be competent, know ur shit, dont fake it

ot: eh im confident in familiar scenarios n shy in unfamiliar ones but i try not to hesitate much in doing new things

not my experience in the job market at least plus rule of thumb i notice is that given a confident and competent enough job seeker will always win against a highly competent but shy job seeker, overall confidence will get you recognize more and seen as a employee with initiative and a team player https://hbr.org/2019/03/to-seem-more-competent-be-more-confident

That's not called confidence, that's called lying and acting as if you are more than you actually are.

chaotic devil fiend wannabe paladin

Aug 9, 2022 11:06 AM

#16

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rohan121 said:
Being confidant is not the same as being perceived as confidant. One requires looks while the other form only requires excessive pride. Such pride without looks is dangerous to act upon. A molester is a sub 5 with confidence. A Chad can bypass such a title deeming himself a playboy.

Stealing a kiss is sexual assault for the ugly guy and just being a playboy for the handsome guy.

chaotic devil fiend wannabe paladin

Aug 9, 2022 11:08 AM

#17

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Jul 2022

114

deg said:

Verthandi11 said:
no way is confidence greater than competence. an incompetent person may have all the confidence in the world, ppl will see through them after just a little while whereas competence will be recognised even if the person isnt the most outgoing or loud. n no this isnt me being idealistic its from personal experience in multiple situations. work hard, be competent, know ur shit, dont fake it

ot: eh im confident in familiar scenarios n shy in unfamiliar ones but i try not to hesitate much in doing new things

not my experience in the job market at least plus rule of thumb i notice is that given a confident and competent enough job seeker will always win against a highly competent but shy job seeker, overall confidence will get you recognize more and seen as a employee with initiative and a team player https://hbr.org/2019/03/to-seem-more-competent-be-more-confident

Vergil_status said:

No, I literally said confidence doesn't exist, it's a meaningless buzzword that woke people and women throw around.

If you feel like crap it's not because you lack confidence, it's because 100% chances you are crap.

ok although that is emotional reasoning aka what you feel is always true and its a cognitive distortion

We assume that you are smart enough to understand that if you are in a shitty situation and people treat you like shit it's because you are probably a piece of crap.

chaotic devil fiend wannabe paladin

Aug 9, 2022 11:10 AM

#18

avolition

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Vergil_status said:

deg said:

not my experience in the job market at least plus rule of thumb i notice is that given a confident and competent enough job seeker will always win against a highly competent but shy job seeker, overall confidence will get you recognize more and seen as a employee with initiative and a team player https://hbr.org/2019/03/to-seem-more-competent-be-more-confident

ok although that is emotional reasoning aka what you feel is always true and its a cognitive distortion

We assume that you are smart enough to understand that if you are in shitty situation and people treat you like shit it's because you are probably a piece of crap.

so you base your identity on what people tell about you? people always have the correct perception of you?

Aug 9, 2022 11:10 AM

#19

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562316

deg said:

Verthandi11 said:
no way is confidence greater than competence. an incompetent person may have all the confidence in the world, ppl will see through them after just a little while whereas competence will be recognised even if the person isnt the most outgoing or loud. n no this isnt me being idealistic its from personal experience in multiple situations. work hard, be competent, know ur shit, dont fake it

ot: eh im confident in familiar scenarios n shy in unfamiliar ones but i try not to hesitate much in doing new things

not my experience in the job market at least plus rule of thumb i notice is that given a confident and competent enough job seeker will always win against a highly competent but shy job seeker, overall confidence will get you recognize more and seen as a employee with initiative and a team player https://hbr.org/2019/03/to-seem-more-competent-be-more-confident

if the competence levels r the same then of course more confidence will help but if its one against the other its no competition. confidence may win out in the short run (it often does) so in the early stages of ur career ull see more confident ppl surpassing u in jobs but in the long run when ppls actual performance becomes evident its conpetence that determines career trajectory n the confident without competence ppl keep hopping around from job to job fruitlessly trying to settle somewhere. the experiment in that hbr article was also abt perceiving someone's competence without being intimate with their work. career growth decisions in the work place arent handed out that way

Aug 9, 2022 11:12 AM

#20

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deg said:

Vergil_status said:

We assume that you are smart enough to understand that if you are in shitty situation and people treat you like shit it's because you are probably a piece of crap.

so you base your identity on what people tell about you? people always have the correct perception of you?

Online I'm cocky and arrogant, so people perceive me as that.

With strangers I'm cocky and aggressive, so people perceive me as that.

With friends I'm protective and father like, so they perceive me as that.

On job interviews I'm cocky and people perceive me as a nuisance even though I'm competent and good. Got fired for my personality enough times, never for my lack of skill.

Vergil_statusAug 9, 2022 11:17 AM

chaotic devil fiend wannabe paladin

Aug 9, 2022 11:26 AM

#21

ArabianLuffy

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What makes someone confident? I sway from always to never depends on my knowledge and experience of a matter. There is no always nor never when it comes to confidence.

Aug 9, 2022 11:28 AM

#22

avolition

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ArabianLuffy said:
What makes someone confident? I sway from always to never depends on my knowledge and experience of a matter. There is no always nor never when it comes to confidence.

arrogant and shy people exist though

Aug 9, 2022 11:34 AM

#23

ArabianLuffy

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deg said:
arrogant and shy people exist though

Arrogant and shy people exist indeed, and yet both pay the price. Or they develop/change.

Aug 9, 2022 3:42 PM

#24

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Jul 2018

562316

Absolutely not. Pretty sure I have some sort of mild Agoraphobia since I struggle to get out. Talking to others is kind of a pain.

Aug 9, 2022 5:45 PM

#25

LeeviAJ

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Jan 2022

86

No, as I do not have anything to be confident about.

Aug 9, 2022 7:05 PM

#26

Druski

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Aug 2022

885

I'm confident around people i'm comfortable with. If not I'm still quite confident.

Aug 9, 2022 9:02 PM

#27